Parents overshare with married son

Dear Miss Manners: I am married and live in the same city as my parents. They are both retired and have eagerly embraced email — sometimes too much. We get several from both Mom and Dad every day. My wife and I have told them more than once that our own daily activities prevent us from answering their emails right away. Is there any way to ask them nicely to coordinate on their emails so we’re not spending time replying to so many?

Gentle Reader: Here is a phrase Miss Manners does not often say: Why don’t you suggest they start their own blog? Or at least you treat their emails as such. The beauty about correspondence is that its frequency is up to both parties. You do not have to answer every email. If you slow down your responses, Miss Manners feels sure that even if your parents don’t slow down theirs to match the pace, they will at least afford you the opportunity to say, “Oh I didn’t think we needed to respond. Dad told us the same news yesterday, so I thought you were just posting.”

Dear Miss Manners: I work in a business that serves walk-in clients. The powers that be tend to cut staff when they think we may be less busy. Wait times get long due to the lack of staff. I’ve been told to apologize for people’s wait. I’ll fetch some water and snacks for bored children. But I just can’t get the words “I’m sorry” out of my mouth when it isn’t my fault.

Gentle Reader: Patrons are far more likely to be more sympathetic — and recognize that it is the company’s fault and not yours — if you are cognizant of their annoyance and apologize on the company’s behalf. As a bonus, the company might be more apt to listen and change their policies with consumer support behind you. Miss Manners therefore suggests that you think of the apology as one for a company that won’t listen to you. But then you must also resist rolling your eyes or using air quotes when issuing it.