Choice of baby name comes from par­ents

South Florida Sun-Sentinel (Sunday) - - Society - Judith Martin Send ques­tions to Miss Man­ners at her web­site, miss­man­ or email her at dearmiss­man­[email protected]

Dear Miss Man­ners: My grand­daugh­ter, who has never been mar­ried, had a child. She put the last name of the fa­ther on the birth cer­tifi­cate as the child’s last name.

I con­tend that this ap­pears as if she had been mar­ried and is not cor­rect. Would you please in­form me as to what is the proper last name in this in­stance?

Gen­tle Reader: Miss Man­ners is not sure whom you think your grand­daugh­ter is fool­ing into think­ing she is mar­ried, but as­sures you that the govern­ment cares only for tax pur­poses, not moral ones.

Dear Miss Man­ners: I work with a girl who thinks we are the clos­est of friends, but we aren’t. I find her ir­ri­tat­ing at best. We’ve worked to­gether about two years now.

I’ve never con­sid­ered her much more than a work ac­quain­tance. We’ve hung out so­cially once or twice, mostly be­cause I feel bad be­cause she doesn’t have that many friends out­side of work, but now it’s got­ten to the point where if I don’t sit with her, she gets mad at me.

I’ve also just re­cently be­come en­gaged, and now she says she wants to be in­cluded in the wed­ding plan­ning. I don’t re­ally even want to in­vite her to the wed­ding, but I know she is go­ing to ex­pect an in­vi­ta­tion, as our other col­leagues (who ac­tu­ally ARE my friends) will be in­vited to the event. I don’t want it to be awk­ward at work if I don’t in­vite her, but I don’t want to see her on the big day. What do I do?

Gen­tle Reader: Give her a job — an ap­point­ment of honor that will keep her busy and far away from you through­out the wed­ding and re­cep­tion. Mind­ing the guest book or look­ing af­ter way­ward chil­dren are good ex­am­ples. Miss Man­ners re­al­izes that this may not solve the more long-term prob­lem of dis­en­gag­ing with her as friends, but with any luck she will com­plain to oth­ers that she was be­ing used — and want to dis­con­tinue the friend­ship her­self.

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