Friend with benefits doesn’t show interest

Dear Amy: I’m involved in a “friends with benefits” situation with “Steve.” We are both in our late-30s.

We tried dating, but he told me that he didn’t see long-term potential.

We stayed friends with benefits, basically acting like we are dating. I’ve always had ups and downs with him, mainly involving me reacting in an upset manner.

I really resent him, but I also like spending time with him.

I recently moved to my current location, and right now he’s my only friend.

Lately he’s been calling me “Angry Ashley.” We’ve taken breaks from each other before.

I told him that I needed space. I have been good about not contacting him, and he’s not on my social media, but, Amy, do you think that with enough space he will forget about the way I acted and eventually want to have a relationship with me?

I am good to him, and sometimes he acts like he likes me, too. We just haven’t been talking or spending time with each other as much as we used to.

Can I turn this around? I haven’t talked to him in four days. — Dumb and Not So Young

Dear Dumb: Even if you could possibly turn this around, should you? No.

Don’t hope that he will forget about the way you’ve acted. Promise yourself that you WON’T forget about the way HE’S acted.

If you enjoyed this “friends with benefits” relationship, then I’d suggest that you should keep on keeping on. But you don’t enjoy it.

You should pour your romantic and dramatic energy into this breakup.

If he contacts you, don’t respond. Don’t.

Schedule little outings and activities for you to do that don’t involve “Steve.” You need to meet new people, have new conversations and find new things to do. With time and TLC, you will reap much greater “benefits” than you had with this relationship.