Ride’s going nowhere, so it’s time to get off

Please make it stop. Make it go away. Make this tortuous Miami Dolphins season just end now, at this moment, for everyone’s benefit.

So what if three games are left? Is “The Irishman” available?

I’ve covered this team for more than three decades, and I’ve never felt so constantly confused, conflicted and, by this point in December, downright sick about a Dolphins season as this one.

Excuse me while I throw up on my keyboard. This isn’t so much about the plan. It’s about the season. Because what began as an attempt to trick the system and worm their way to the front of the draft line for a franchise quarterback simply shows why you shouldn’t do that.

Never ever, unless you want to copy the

Cleveland Browns’ tailchasing feats or enter Dante’s Circles of Hell.

Here’s the question of the season: If you set up everything to fail and you succeed a little, did you really fail?

Or maybe succeed? This isn’t an NFL season three games from finishing; it’s an endless preseason. It’s a Groundhog Day where the Dolphins keep picking up released players on Tuesday, practice them on Wednesday and play them on Sundays that don’t ever matter.

Kickoff is relevant only to players and coaches, as in Little League. The final score is secondary. Even a win can’t be really celebrated because of the draftday fallout.

This isn’t why we fell in love with sports. This isn’t why we go to games.

No one wants to simply chase after tomorrow, like a hat in the wind, until everyone’s exhausted by the chase. And confused. And nauseous.

This year, everyone knows, is all about next year. Or maybe the season after that if everything works right.

There were other ways to go. Buffalo rebuilt a forever-bad team by making the playoffs three years

ago, taking a step back last year and now challenging New England for the AFC East with a young quarterback in Josh Allen. Will it get there?

Baltimore overhauled a decent team by drafting quarterback Lamar Jackson, releasing big names and salaries for good youth and three straight good drafts, where the highest pick was No. 6. Doesn’t that sound smart?

The Dolphins rebuild by assembling draft picks into tomorrow. And I get it. I do. They needed to hold more draft picks in their hand, like cards at a poker table, to have the option to make some moves come draft day.

But Sunday never matters in this idea. That’s why this season can’t end quickly enough.

Oh, sure, it matters to Dolphins coach Brian Flores and the players. Even we in the media ask why a certain play was called or how a specific player is progressing — just to act our roles in the charade.

But no one’s taking it too seriously. You don’t hear anyone criticizing a defensive back for blowing coverage or a running back for not running too far. Odds are they’re trying. But most veterans who mattered are gone. Forty-two percent of this roster is undrafted or released from another team.

And where does this

pain and suffering go? Anywhere?

Please don’t say for a No. 4 draft pick and, maybe, the Georgia offensive tackle. Or the one from Iowa? This miserable season was for that?

OK, the hot idea in December is the Dolphins might take a shot at the great arm medical mystery of Alabama quarterback Tua Tagovailoa in next April’s draft. Breaking news: They could have gotten him without all these shenanigans and some simple smarts too.

Vision, you see, has been the missing Dolphins ingredient of the past decade. Not draft order, not loss totals. Vision, brains, football I.Q. — that’s what is needed at the top for years more than a top pick in the draft.

Maybe that’s coming now. Maybe the 14 draft picks in 2020 bear fruit for general manager Chris Grier and his rebuilt front office. Their time is about to arrive.

Meanwhile, can we stop this season and get off?

Even this year’s good stories aren’t good stories. Veteran quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick is smart and fun and hands-down the team’s Most Valuable Player. But does he really get this franchise anywhere?

Make it end. Make it all end. And, if you can, bring a clean rag for my keyboard.