Program for grieving students may expand

‘It’s the club that nobody wants to be in’

Three years ago, Cori Walls noticed that some of her television production students at Atlantic High School had more on their minds than looming college application deadlines and careers. Some also had to juggle the recent loss of a parent. At times, grief got in the way of their school work. Other times it prompted breakdowns on campus. And someone, Walls thought, had to do something about it.

Walls started Steve’s Club at Atlantic High School in 2019. The program, named after Walls’ father who died before she was a year old, consists of two after-school meetings each month for students who have lost one or both parents.

“In 2019 on my rosters I had 10 kids, and one of them had lost both of her parents,” Walls said. “So I was like, all right, I’m done ignoring the obvious. I’ve got to get these kids together so they know they’re not alone.”

One of the monthly meetings focuses on grief therapy. Grief counselors from Trustbridge and the Palm Beach County Youth Services Department are invited to sit in and listen to students or help them express their feelings. The other monthly meeting deals with college readiness; Walls keeps tabs on the students’ grade levels and helps them develop plans for college or notifies them of local job opportunities.

Most importantly, students are offered

“I know everyone says ‘You’re not alone,’ but physically being able to see that there are other people in the club for the same reason was comforting.” — Amorette Keenan, an Atlantic High School graduate who lost her father at 5 years old

a space to meet peers facing similar battles with grief and create a community around a normally isolating experience.

“I know everyone says ‘You’re not alone,’ but physically being able to see that there are other people in the club for the same reason was comforting,” said Amorette Keenan, a 19-year-old who lost her father at 5 years old. Keenan graduated from Atlantic High School last year and is a former member of the program. “Steve’s Club made a point to validate my feelings.”

Walls said she understands that children and teenagers are often catapulted into grief by the loss of a loved one — she understands because she’s lived it. But for those who are unable to relate to that reality, Walls said it can be hard to grasp how prevalent that loss is among young people.

Judi’s House, an organization for outreach and research on childhood bereavement, reported in 2022 that one in 12 children in Florida will experience the death of a parent or sibling by 18 years old. The state’s average is higher than the national average, and the number doubles once someone turns 25.

Walls estimates that last year, at least 79 out of the less than 1,500 students at Atlantic High School had experienced the death of a parent. For the 2022 school year Walls estimates at least 44 students, not including incoming freshmen or existing students who could have lost a loved one over the summer.

She hopes to one day expand Steve’s Club to every school in the Palm Beach County School District. Walls said about 20 schools have expressed interest in launching the program on their elementary, middle and high school campuses this academic year.

“Nobody tracks kids that are dealing with the loss of a parent. There’s nothing in our systems, nothing in our database, nothing for teachers to know,” Walls said. “There’s no place trying to do something on a scale that we’re doing it. There are some grief support groups here and there on different campuses around the country, but nothing that is a network within a school district for kids from one school to the next.”

Child mental health experts agree that monitoring and keeping track of students who have experienced the death of a parent could be useful for teachers to understand behavioral changes and offer support, especially since grief manifests differently from person to person.

“There’s not only the physical loss of a person when we talk about grief, there’s also the secondary losses, like role changes at home are a secondary loss,” said Marlene Aboytes, a bereavement children’s program coordinator at Trustbridge.

In Keenan’s case, her father’s death had long been difficult to process. But things bubbled up in high school. She did not feel that she had anyone to talk to, especially since she became a caregiver for her younger sister and mother.

“I did everything for my mom, I was a translator, she didn’t speak English,” Keenan said. “I basically played the mother role in my family. My two older siblings were away in the military, it was kind of like I had to be there for my mom and my little sister, be the rock of the family.”

Keenan has since gotten a job as a sales agent at a Delray Beach branch of State Farm, a job she began in high school after Walls notified her of the opportunity.

“Right now I’d say I’m in a pretty good spot in my life as in balancing everything,” Keenan said. “But if I ever needed [Walls], I know she’d be there.”

Other than changed schedules, difficulty paying attention or a decline in grades, Aboytes said the loss of a loved one can also impact students in less visible ways. Overwork is one of those.

For Vanessa Belizaire, a

19-year-old who graduated from Atlantic High School last year, throwing herself into her studies is how she distanced herself from thinking of her mother’s passing.

“I kept on working and working with schoolwork,” Belizaire said. She lost her mother to cancer when she was a freshman at Atlantic High School. “I was not backing down. I had straight A’s. It’s almost like I wanted to keep my brain occupied and to keep it denying that my mother had passed away.”

Although Belizaire had been doing well academically, she struggled with her me

ntal health. She said she often went through loops of highs and lows, easily triggered by seemingly innocuous stressors. She needed someone to talk to. So she joined Steve’s Club.

“I started practicing mindfulness after Steve’s Club,” Belizaire said. “I listen to music. I discovered I love to do my nails. I take walks by myself. Exercising also helps. Now, knowing about mindfulness techniques, I take a lot of time off for myself and I know not to overwork.”

Belizaire received a

$1,000 scholarship from Steve’s Club that went directly to her college education. She’s now studying medical biology at Florida Atlantic University.

Last year, Steve’s Club awarded high school club members who were seniors

$6,000 worth in college scholarships. Walls said the scholarship is funded through donations. The checks are sent directly to the students’ college, university or trade school.

A primary goal of Steve’s Club for Walls is showing these students they are worth a great life, despite the deaths they’ve experienced. She does so by stressing college readiness, career preparedness and offering small wins like tuition scholarships along the way.

“It’s the club that nobody wants to be in,” Walls said. “They’ve lost their parent, they’ve lost an income. They’ve lost someone they trust, but they’ve also lost somebody that could hopefully guide them to their future. What matters is that the kids that are all dealing with the death of a parent are having the resources available to them.”