Our loved ones deserve a colorful resting place

Today is my son’s birthday and I placed a Happy Birthday garden flag by his headstone. That’s all I can do anymore, and it may not sound like a lot to some, but that is my comfort these days. It’s been 20 years and we haven’t missed a holiday or birthday yet. My son’s father, who is physically handicap and has difficulty getting in and out of his van with the wheelchair, enjoys the decorations even more as he drives through the cemetery a few times a week. Sacred Heart Cemetery is located right in the heart of La Plata on a hill in a lovely setting reminding one of a small country town.

So when placing Gary’s birthday flag there, I noticed the new “rules & regulations” sign recently placed at the cemetery. I am familiar with this sign because my parents and brother are buried in a Catholic cemetery not far from La Plata. This cemetery (up the road) has one of the best entrances, and then there you are — staring at flat stones with very few flowers. The flat stones have been run over by heavy mowers and tractors and many are no longer level. It is heartbreaking. Perhaps that is why I am so upset, because now Sacred Heart Cemetery will appear just as “cold.”

We pay deeply for the plot and headstones. Are they not ours? Why do we pay extra for the vase? Trust me, I understand some people leave Christmas trees up all year, but I do believe, on average, those who take the time to put flowers there do care for their loved one’s final resting place. I know I have picked up various trash from time to time, things broken and dead flowers, but I don’t mind. I even trim around my son’s headstone weekly.

I also understand how fast it is to cut the grass and not have to trim around items. But I have seen one person mowing and another trimming with a modern day weed whacker, and I was impressed with how they handled the job quickly, neatly and with care. It

can be done.

So let’s go over these rules: April 1 to Oct. 31 (mowing season), flowers, solar lights and ornamentation permitted on headstones and bases only. There is not much you can put on a headstone, and what base? I think we all agree the “mowing season” is also the most favorable time of year to visit a cemetery.

The rules then state that Nov. 1 to March 31, we can place whatever we want on the gravesite; of course, that’s if the weather permits you to do so!

I know the bottom line here is cost, and perhaps is a case where all get punished because someone didn’t remove old items or went overboard? Why not simply state that you (the cemetery) have the right to remove dead flowers, or broken things, or that items may only be placed right beside the headstone?

I pray others will join in as we try to keep Sacred Heart Cemetery looking bright and colorful 365 days a year. We deserve the right to do so, and our loved ones deserve the recognition.