Giving a valuable wedding gift

Dear Heloise: How much should I spend on a wedding gift? My sister is getting married in a month, and I'm not sure how much to give to the bride and groom. They really prefer cash to gifts because they've lived together for over two years.

I'm in my third year of college, and as a college student living on a very strict budget, I can't give much. My sister knows this, but she still expects a gift of some kind. My mother said I should at least give the cost of my dinner at the wedding, but the cost of the dinner is $150 per person. I don't have an extra $150! What should I do? –

Kevin C., Mineola, New York

Kevin, no, you don't need to give the cost of the dinner. It should be based on what you can afford. I was once a college student, and I know funds are limited. Tuition, books and lab fees are increasing all the time.

So, if funds do not permit you to make a monetary gift, ask if there is something you can do to help with the wedding. After all, your time and labor are valuable. Can you run errands for your sister, pick up people from the airport, help with decorations, or make centerpieces?

After you graduate and have a job, perhaps you can take them out to dinner to celebrate their wedding anniversary. – Heloise

Dear Heloise: My oldest daughter is getting married this summer, and we've just started looking for bridal gowns. The price of wedding dresses has increased significantly since I was married nearly 30 years ago! Why are these dresses so expensive? – Janette P., Amherst, Ohio

Janette, I agree. Wedding dresses are expensive. Many have hand beading, expensive lace and rich materials, and they are usually custom fitted for the bride. All of this adds to the price.

However, there are shops that resell bridal gowns that were only worn once. These are less expensive, and of course, many bridal shops offer sales so they can make room for newer merchandise. If you let the salesperson know what your limit is, they can usually find something pretty.

Or, does someone in the family have a gown your daughter can borrow for her big day? You can also have a seamstress make a gown. There are other options for your daughter to consider. – Heloise

Dear Heloise: I want to change my name. For my whole life, I was teased about my name, and I've had enough. How do I go about doing this? – P.S.R., in Texas

P.S.R., if you are at least 18, you can change your first and last name by getting an application to amend your birth certificate from the Bureau of Vital Statistics. You might have to call your county courthouse to get the application or contact an attorney to find out where to get this application. Usually, most of this can be done online.

To change your last name, you need a court order, and I suggest you call an attorney for this. It may vary from state to state, but the county clerk at the courthouse can help direct you to the correct department. – Heloise

Dear Heloise: I love to grow my own tomatoes, but when I want to puree my fresh tomatoes for sauces or juice, I put them in my freezer for a couple of days before thawing them out and placing them in my blender. They go through the blender with a greater speed and ease than the fresh ones right off the vine. – M.G., in Texas