There are questions that make up a marriage

I knew the answer to the question.

And I knew it was best to not answer it.

At least not 100% truthfully. This is a story about what I’ve learned about questions and marriage.

I’ve made a 180-degree pivot in my views.

The foundation of our entire marriage is based on questions.

Before Husband and I got married, we went through a book of 289 questions prompting us to talk about everything from money to politics to family dynamics to pets.

Oh, yeah. Pets. I’ve shared in previous columns how that one almost upended us. Thank goodness for pre-marital counseling and the “Pre-pup” we ironed out.

Otherwise, I’m not here a decade later telling you what I’ve learned about questions in the last 10 years.

Yes. 10 years.

This marriage was worth waiting for. We give much of the credit to those questions.

“They didn’t do the questions,” we’ll often say when we hear about a mismatched marriage in distress.

Which leads me to this week’s question.

“Are you excited about our trip?” Husband asked the other day. He was talking about the latest international travel extravaganza he has put together using miles and points.

If all goes according to plan, we should be in the northern reaches of Spain or France when you read this.

“Yeah,” I half-heartedly squeaked out.

This wasn’t a total lie, but not really the truth.

I’m happy at home. Pre-trip stress has me not wanting to go anywhere.

“You’re always happy and have a good time once we are on the trip,” Husband reminded me.

This is true.

It’s not unlike entertaining guests at our home.

“Are you so excited our friends are coming to see us?” I could ask him in anticipation of one of my favorite things in the world — entertaining loved ones at our home.

There is no way he could ever answer, “Yes,” and not be lying.

If he answered truthfully with a “No,” I would point out that he always has a good time once folks arrive and he enjoys their company.

And so, this is how I arrive with my theory. The secret to starting a great marriage is asking all the questions.

The answer to a successful ongoing marriage is to stop asking questions.

At least the kind that will elicit what will surely be an unsatisfying answer for the asker.

By the time you read this, I will no doubt be enjoying that anniversary trip.

He just has to get me there. We both know this.

A homebody and an introverted world traveler who never would seek out a guest to his home left to his own devices. How does this marriage ever work?

We’re actually both very good for each other. I need to get out more. He needs people interaction more than he knows.

I’m officially signing up for another 10 years.

No questions asked.