Event from man’s past troubles his current wife
the rest of their lives? Are we doomed? — Wrestling With It in California
Dear Wrestling: Your husband was honest with you from the beginning of your relationship and has been, I presume, a faithful partner. As you stated, he was under a lot of pressure when that happened. I can’t name one person who hasn’t made a mistake sometime in the past, including me. Use some common sense and quit judging your poor husband for his one “slip,” or PLEASE free him to find a woman who will appreciate him for who he is.
Dear Abby: My spouse and I are retired. I thought we would spend our retirement doing things together, but all she wants to do is sleep. It is not unusual for her to stay in bed for two days straight, getting up only to use the bathroom and get a drink.
I’ve asked her why she sleeps so much. She tells me she doesn’t know why. I have gone with her to her doctors, and they have run tests. Physically there’s nothing wrong to account for all her sleeping. This leads me to believe she’s taking prescription medication to be able to sleep as long as she does. When I asked her if this was the case, she denied it.
My wife was sexually abused as a child and is currently being treated for depression. Her doctor and I have wanted her to see a psychiatrist, but she absolutely refuses. I’ve talked to her on several occasions and let her know I’m unhappy with how this is affecting our marriage. She seems not to care.
I’m thinking of getting a separation. Do you think this is advisable? Or do you have any other ideas? I love her dearly and being apart is not what I desire. She deserves all my efforts to help her before I just no longer care and give up.
— Frustrated in Indiana
Dear Frustrated: Losing interest in things someone used to enjoy and sleeping for “two days straight” are classic symptoms of SEVERE, CHRONIC depression. It may have been triggered by her retirement.
Your wife definitely should be talking to someone. If it’s not a psychiatrist, then certainly a psychologist who works with a psychiatrist who will prescribe medications if they are needed. You and her doctor should insist upon it, because your wife appears to be very ill.