How to make up after a fight
After an argument, most couples have some difficulty making up and getting back to their normal selves. Both parties want to feel that things are resolved, but when hurt feelings have been bouncing around in your hearts, it can be problematic.
Sometimes you don’t have to say much — just a soft smile or a simple “I love you” can be enough to end the tension — but other times it takes more effort. Experiencing an emotional wound can leave some residual discomfort. The trick here is to notice when it happens and then allow yourself to release the hurt feelings — you can even visualize them like clouds drifting past — and return to your usual routines, especially the ones that make you feel closer to your mate.
Arguments make us feel different. Anger can sometimes take time to dissipate, and remembering that these feelings will go away will help you let them go. Holding a grudge is not going to make your love life any better. In fact, it will make things worse, and you may blame your partner for what is actually under your control.
When couples fight, it usually brings out the best in nobody. You may show your darker side, say things you regret, and get defensive when the one you love tells you things you do not want to hear. Sometimes arguments are one-sided and unfair. But in most cases, both of you are contributing to the discomfort and negativity, and that is not how you want to live your lives.
Making up is not only the right thing to do but also something that will make you both feel better. Make-up sex is a great way to reengage with your lover. So is going out and having dinner or simply sharing a glass of wine. It will give you a chance to hold hands, reconnect, and remember why you are together.
Most people don’t enjoy fighting with their mates. Harsh words and silence cut equally deep. After getting the anger out, you may realize that what you said was unfair or untrue. At that point, you need to let your partner know that you misspoke and you would like to take back the inappropriate words you used. This is a powerful way of ending the discord and getting things back to what both of you want.
Likewise, if your partner has said something that hurt your feelings, let them know, but not in a defensive or nasty way. Simply say, “Honey, what you said hurt me.” That’s a pretty strong statement, and your other half needs to respond with a simple apology. Likewise, you need to be able to do this for your partner.
The ability to let go of an argument is something that most long-term couples develop over time. It does take a little while to learn how to disagree without being disagreeable. So give yourselves a chance to kiss and make up, so you can enjoy being a couple again.