In love with my friend
Dear Annie: I’m a 31year-old man, and I believe I’m in love with my friend. It’s been a year now that I’ve been feeling this way about her, but I haven’t expressed my feelings. At first, the reason was that she was in a relationship with a man for a long time. They broke up late last year (for reasons having nothing to do with me).
Now that my friend is single, I don’t know whether I should tell her how I feel. Is it still too early? — Lover and Friend
Dear Lover: It’s really not a matter of if you should tell her how you feel but when. But don’t wait too long — or you’ll be standing on the sidelines once again.
Dear Annie: At the outset, I have to congratulate you for producing a valuable audiobook. Is there a downside to listening to an audiobook with rapt attention and totally engrossed in the subject that you begin to forget that you are still in charge of a 3,000- to 4,000pound behemoth? I have heard about the possible dangers of taking even hands-off telephone calls while driving, but I don’t know about listening to audiobooks. — Haridas KV
Dear Haridas: Great question! It turns out that it depends what the driving conditions are. A 2018 study found that in simple driving situations — less traffic and calmer surroundings — listening to the audiobook actually improved drivers’ reaction times. But in more traffic, listening to an audiobook worsened reaction times. So if you’re navigating busy streets, then stick to music or silence.
Dear Annie: I’m 75 and my wife is 70. We have often heard or read about a spouse being disabled or dying leaving the other with the responsibilities they had previously assumed.
We periodically meet with our financial adviser, estate lawyer and accountant who all know each other and work together. Of course, we have wills, trusts, powers of attorney and living wills. In addition, I’ve prepared several folders that my wife or executors can refer to so that transitions are made easier.
One folder lists all our assets, insurances, regular bills and important records and their locations and phone numbers of managers. This includes the websites, passwords and file names of the documents kept on the computer. Another lists all the chores that are necessary to manage the house and vehicles along with their frequency and who could do them in my absence. Another folder includes diagrams of the systems in the house and how to manage them, including photos. These include water conditioners, thermostats, etc.
About once a year we go over all these lists to update.
We know that no amount of preparation would be sufficient during a crisis, but writing down information is comforting. — Preparing
Dear Preparing: I’m printing your letter to inspire others to take this kind of initiative.