The world of reality TV finds Connecticut
Hanging out at cocktail hour looks different these days. Here are some tips for using conference-call technology to reconnect with friends. Using your laptop is better than your phone. You’ll quickly discover that holding a phone up at face height for an extended period of time is no fun. The video and sound quality tend to be lower coming from your phone. Also, if you have your laptop set up on a table in front of you, it’s easier to eat and drink. It also makes it feel a little more natural if you need to get up — like you’re just pushing your chair back from the table at a dinner party instead of making everyone else stare at your ceiling as your phone sits face-up while you refill your drink.
With Zoom, gallery view is better than speaker video. With speaker video, the person who’s making the most noise is a big picture, while everyone else is in a little bar at the side or along the top. Speaker view makes sense when you’re watching a work presentation but feels less natural in a group setting. Sometimes, more than one person is talking, or some other noise prompts the camera to switch over, like sirens outside or a dog barking. Gallery view gives you the “Brady Bunch”-style grid where you’re all in the same sized window. To change which view you’re seeing, go to the top right of the screen and click “Gallery View.”
Muting yourself still applies. In a get-together with a couple of other friends, sure, leave yourself unmuted. But when five or more people are joining the video call, it’s polite to mute yourself when you aren’t speaking. Laptop and phone microphones pick up sound differently than our ears do.
To look your best, put your laptop on a stack of books.
Otherwise, you risk incurring the dreaded down-facing double chin.
Your friends are going to care less about what your house looks like than your boss might, but it’s still good to tidy up before guests come over, even if they’re only in attendance virtually.
If you’re hosting the meeting with Zoom, you’ll need to upgrade to a Pro account or have to restart the meeting every 40 minutes when the free version runs out. Google Hangouts and Skype don’t set time limits. Try to start your gatherings on time so people aren’t left hanging on the hold screen.
In a normal party setting, you’d split off and have side conversations among a few people and migrate around to different groups. Here, you have to keep a conversation going among everyone at once. That’s challenging.
Game time
If you’re hosting, it might be more helpful to set an agenda so people know what to expect: “We’ll chat from 6 to 6:30ish, then I was thinking we could (play some games / do a scavenger hunt / watch the new season of “Nailed It!” on Netflix / work on our separate crafting projects simultaneously.)”
Pull out your Nintendo Switches and play Animal Crossing (the ultimate game for this moment in history) at the same time. Do crafts or a DIY project. You don’t have to be actively engaging with one another the entire time to feel together. Jennifer Peepas, who writes the advice blog Captain Awkward, called it “parallel socializing.” She and her friends have logged onto Zoom to knit together.
Scavenger hunts can take advantage of your separate locations and be a fun opportunity to move around a bit. The host names an object and everyone else has a certain amount of time (say, 30 seconds) to find it in their own house. A coffee mug with writing on it. A twist tie. A sock in a color other than white. A roll of toilet paper.
Powerpoint Parties take advantage of digital screensharing technology. Everyone prepares a short presentation on a topic they’re enthusiastic about, whether it’s sourdough discard recipes or obscure unsolved mysteries or reality TV contestants. Then you take turns sharing. Finally, know when to say good night.
The general rule of thumb is that the more people on the call, the shorter it should be.
The one-hour-to-90-minute range tends to be the sweet spot for most online gatherings that involve more than one or two other people.