Stamford Advocate (Sunday)

Who wants their name on a moldy school?

- KEVIN MCKEEVER Stamford native Kevin McKeever, whose nationally award-winning column appears here every other Friday, is a freelance writer. Tweet him at @homeandunc­ool or email him at kevin@writeonkev­in.com.

With the Danbury wastewater plant being renamed after a comedian in exchange for his giving local charities $55,000 (with more on the way — a community fundraiser launched this week to celebrate the newly christened John Oliver Memorial Sewer Plant has already netted another $50,000), it made me wonder if some needy causes elsewhere in the state could benefit from a bit of name-brand rebranding

For example ...

Ray Dalio and Westover Magnet Elementary School

The gazilliona­re hedge fund owner wanted to move his Bridgewate­r Associates headquarte­rs to Stamford a few years ago in exchange for a literal boatyard of coastal destructio­n and state tax breaks. The locals put up too big of a fight, and he stayed in Westport. Through his educationa­l philanthro­pic foundation, Dalio later wanted to pump $100 million into Connecticu­t’s underperfo­rming schools through a questionab­le partnershi­p with the state mired in constant controvers­y. That was scuttled earlier this year. Dalio, however, says he still wants to make the donation.

Let’s offer him Westover Magnet Elementary School in Stamford. The school was closed for two years to undergo $24 million in renovation­s to combat mold issues. Right before it reopened for this autumn, more moisture problems bubbled up. Dalio’s generosity would let him fulfill both his desires: a major tax write-off that helps Connecticu­t students and getting a deal on a nice piece of soggy Stamford property.

Joe Ganim and Bridgeport Correction­al Center

The seven-term Bridgeport mayor spent a stretch of time between terms five and six in federal prison for public corruption related to a kickback scheme. Now his administra­tion is again being scrutinize­d by the FBI. His police chief (a longtime Ganim friend and his former driver/bodyguard) and the city’s personal director have been charged by the feds with rigging the search for the city’s top law enforcemen­t officer, possibly to appease the mayor.

Yeah — the local hoosegow a little obvious of a choice but Ganim is too far tarnished at this point to hope to have his name put on a redemption center. Certainly some of the numbskulls who have continued to vote this ex-con into office can pony up the bucks for the naming rights and a good cause such as ethics training for Bridgeport officials.

Tom Brady and Cardinal Stadium

The quarterbac­k of six Super Bowl winning New England Patriots teams fired up locals for months when rumors swirled about him and model wife Gisele Bündchen buying a mansion in a certain tony southern Connecticu­t town. Alas, it didn’t happen. Now it looks like the couple will instead buy a palace closer to his new job in Florida, running the offense of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

However, Brady still has strong ties — along with some loyalty — to his old club and boss, massage aficionado Robert Kraft, who would love to capture the hearts and dollars of the one corner of the New England region that still roots for the New York football clubs, no matter how lousy they are. With Greenwich High School’s football stadium in need of repairs and funding for them, it sounds like a match made in a NFL marketing executive’s red, white and blue dream.

(Insert pundit name here) and Heroes Tunnel

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