Bridge Wendy’s Christmas story

“The nativity story is a lovely narrative,” Wendy, my club’s feminist, told me. “I can accept some shepherds and a virgin birth. But three wise men, all in the same place at once? That stretches my credulity.”

Wendy thinks most men have an intellect rivaled by garden tools. She was today’s North in a team match. The other players were male. When South bid two hearts at his second turn, Wendy found a raise, and South went on to game.

“West led a trump,” Wendy said, “as the bidding demanded. East won and returned a trump, and my partner won in dummy and led the singleton spade. East dashed up with his ace and led his last trump. My partner won, took the king of spades and ruffed a spade. West’s queen fell, and declarer lost a diamond but made game.

“East’s ace-of-spades play was a typical male atrocity. He can’t lose his ace if he plays low. Then, if South plays the jack, losing to the queen, he

loses a second spade and five tricks in all.”

“So why are you upset?” I asked. “You made a game that might have failed.”

“At the other table,” Wendy bit out, “the auction was the same, but West, my teammate, led the queen of diamonds. South took the ace, led a club to dummy and returned a spade. East correctly played low, and South played the jack. But when West took the queen, he continued diamonds instead of shifting to the obvious trump. Declarer ruffed the third diamond and got home with a crossruff.

“Men are a lot of things,” Wendy said, “but wise isn’t one of them.”