Losing a cosmic auntie, cherished friend to COVID
Valerie Price met Eleanor “Diane” DeShields 11 years ago when both were paraprofessionals at Wilbur Cross School in Bridgeport. Because they were around impressionable students, they only ever — even when they were off campus — addressed each other with the honorific “Miss.”
Miss DeShields was a friend who held things together. She met for coffee, remembered birthdays and anniversaries, and called to check in. She took turns cooking and sharing meals, talking and laughing. She’d grown up in Bridgeport, gotten her degree in social work at Oakwood University in Huntsville, Ala., and eventually came back home. She cared for her mother’s twin sister until the woman died in her late 90s.
Mia Dimbo, a math teacher at Wilbur Cross, called Miss DeShields everybody’s para because she made the school’s students her own. The two women got along. Miss DeShields told Miss Dimbo she appreciated the teacher’s emphasis on fun, and good behavior in class.
With students, Miss DeShields
was like a cosmic auntie, bringing food, making sure everyone had the proper uniform. She was known to have bought furniture for some students’ parents. She sashayed down the halls and left smiles in her wake.
She’d already lost her parents, and a brother and sister, and was close to her remaining family, including beloved nephews and nieces. She also created family out of thin air. She worked at it. At Wilbur Cross, she was the glue.
Early pandemic studies indicated that when safety protocols were observed, inperson schools were not hotbeds for the spread of the virus, but new variants of the disease may change that.
Meanwhile, pandemic protocol varies among Connecticut school districts. A school in Fairfield, say, may have vastly different rules for quelling the spread of the coronavirus that one in Bridgeport. Teachers talk. They know what other schools are doing, and teachers and staff in some schools who are awaiting their vaccinations say they feel vulnerable. Union leaders have repeatedly asked Gov. Ned Lamont for a consistent statewide policy for quarantines and leaves during the pandemic.
Miss DeShields went home sick one Thursday in early November. Miss Dimbo said other staff members had been out sick during that same time. One teacher showed up to work with a high fever, said Miss Dimbo. She said that teacher went home and later tested positive for the coronavirus.
Miss Price went to Miss DeShields’ home on the Monday after she’d gone home. She banged loud on the door and called out for her friend. When Miss DeShields finally unlocked the door, Miss Price was surprised that her friend was struggling to breath, so she called 911.
Events were moving so fast Miss Price said she never stopped to think her friend might have contracted COVID, but at St. Vincent’s Medical Center, things went into warp speed. A rapid test showed that Miss DeShields was infected. Miss Price quickly called mutual friends. One friend went on Facebook to find Miss DeShield’s biological family to let them know of her fast-moving illness.
Because of the virus, Miss DeShields’ closest friends —
Miss Price, Leandra James, and Miss Dimbo —couldn’t see her, but they stayed in touch with phone and video chats. When she was asked by hospital personnel, Miss Price lied and said she was Miss DeShields’ sister. Otherwise, privacy laws would have prevented the friends from keeping up with Miss DeShield’s prognosis. And besides, Miss Price and the others thought of Miss DeShields as a sister, so Miss Price didn’t lie, not really.
Miss DeShields fought. Oh! How she fought. She fought to breathe, then fought to stay off the ventilator. She reassured her friends she’d be coming back to school, and urged them not to worry.
But things didn’t improve. Her friends helped her get things in order. One sad day, they got the call they’d been expecting, and the friends rushed to the hospital to be there while the medical staff removed the medical paraphernalia that tied Miss DeShields to earth. Miss Price was impressed at how respectful the staff was of Miss DeShields, and how gentle they were with her friends.
And then a nurse gently told them that Miss DeShields wouldn’t let go until they left.
Miss DeShields fought. Oh! How she fought. She fought to breathe, then fought to stay off the ventilator.
Miss Price watched a tear slide from her friend’s eye. They said their goodbyes, and made it to the hospital’s first floor when the nurse called to tell them Miss DeShields’ had passed.
Eleanor “Diane” DeShields drew her last on Dec. 10. She would have celebrated her 69th birthday in April, and she left family who are grieving, and friends who are like family and who know that she should still be here, sharing meals, laughs and smiles.