Job seeker needs help from friends

Dear Amy: I am an immigrant. I moved to the United States as a bachelor more than 20 years ago. I have several friends in the same stage of life when we all moved to the U.S.

We developed great relationships and over the years, settled into a group of eight families. We routinely get together for weekend gatherings, holiday outings, parties, etc.

Three months ago, I lost my job and started the search for a new one. All the other seven families have at least one person in my same profession.

For almost 15 years, none of the families have been faced with a situation like mine.

When this happened, I called each of my pals personally, explained the situation and asked them to look out for opportunities.

Except for one individual, the response has been abysmal and hurtful.

Not only are they NOT sending me any leads, but when we meet, there is not even a cursory mention or inquiry about my job search.

While I can sustain for a few months, with every passing day the situation is becoming more stressful.

What am I supposed to do? Should I confront them directly?

Our kids get along great and would be heartbroken if I cut them off totally, but should I?

Should I just consider them friends for small emergencies, but not larger ones?

Job-Seeking Guy

Dear Seeking: Networking is essential to finding mid-career employment. You should definitely ask (not “confront”) your pals again. You might send a group email: “Hi, Guys — I’m still engaged in my job search and am looking for leads. I’m sending up a bat signal, calling on the group to see if we could put our heads together and network. Any leads would be helpful. I’d re- ally appreciate brainstorming with all of you and wonder if we could get together for a session, maybe Saturday morning for coffee? Any and all ideas would be welcome. Thank you all for being supportive friends over the years. I’d be very grateful for your feedback and ideas, now.”

Also, make sure to network outside this circle. Look for business networking events in your area. And if you don’t find a networking group, use social media to start one!

Ask Amy,

P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. e-mail: askamy@tribune.com