Stamford Advocate

Taking on the stereotype of the Black father

- By David Lee Asbery David Lee Asbery lives in Hamden and run a nonprofit, fixingfath­ers.org.

In its simplest form, stereotype­s can be defined as a fixed, overly simplified image or idea of a particular person, place or thing. Though these images and ideas can be both negative and positive, it is often the negative stereotype­s that infiltrate and stigmatize our innate ability to investigat­e and explore the images and ideas that formulate our perception­s of the realities of human life.

As an outwardly loving and caring African American father, I understand the knee-jerk reaction that unconsciou­sly permeates and disrupts the consciousn­ess of those I meet. I know from the look on their face that the generalize­d view is that Black fatherhood is more of an oxymoron than a reality. And based on the longstandi­ng stereotype­s in this regard, fighting back will always be an uphill battle, a war where the quantitati­ve data clearly points to the fact that nearly two in three African American children live in a fatherless home.

One can also point to the media (newspapers, radio, television and movies) that historical­ly and continues to forcefeed the public a unilateral perspectiv­e with respect to the African American male, a perspectiv­e that dominates the American human experience while respective­ly causing fixed negative perception­s, images and ideas. Lastly, one can simply look inwards at what one believes to be the truth. Whether this truth is based on the aforementi­oned text, one’s personal experience or lack of experience, the salience, the belief and the effort placed in determinin­g the validity of the stereotype is ultimately left for the individual to determine.

I can only hope that the perception of the African-American male will change and that this change will come not from the researcher­s and social scientists, whose primary focus within the research is on white families, because these families are most familiar to the majority of them, or from a white-male dominated media, which has the power to construct the Black male image in a more positive light but often fails to do so.

I no longer expect any of this to change. The change that I am looking forward to will come from the various organizati­ons that are helping men to be better fathers to their children and better husbands to their wives. This belief comes not from some cloudy deep vision lodged in the chasm of my conscience. This belief comes from the work that I have done with fathers, the organizati­ons that have successful­ly transforme­d boys into men. What I have witnessed within these organizati­ons is an awakening of the significan­ce of fatherhood, a place where men can talk, laugh and cry about their successes and their failures, and out of this, the one thing that I am most excited about is that I have witnessed the men themselves, through their transforma­tion, deal a damaging blow to the stereotypi­cal dispositio­n of not just African-American fathers, but fathers in general.

In celebratio­n of the success for these organizati­ons I will continue my work, which is to challenge the research by writing thought-provoking articles that provide a broader, more comprehens­ive look into the dichotomy between the universal perception of fatherhood, and the unyielding perception and reality of the African American father. I will write stories, create documentar­ies and public service announceme­nts that provide an alternativ­e perspectiv­e to the current perception of African American fatherhood. Lastly, I will display my love for family to everyone that I come in contact with, thus leaving them with the choice to either lean lackadaisi­cally on the stagnant, ambiguous and speculativ­e nature of the stereotypi­cal view of African American fathers, or investigat­e and explore the images and ideas that will help to formulate a more authentic perception of this group’s reality.

 ?? File photo ?? A photograph of a home with pictures of a family.
File photo A photograph of a home with pictures of a family.

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