Stamford Advocate

Teen girl feels pressure to be ‘perfect’

- Jeanne Phillips Write to Dear Abby at P.O. Box 96440, Los Angeles, CA 90069 or

Dear Abby: My name is “Lucia,” I am 15. There is a lot of awareness about female power and body positivity, however, we also have a standard of beauty that many girls can’t or don’t want to follow. On social media we see a lot of perfect girls with thousands of followers on Instagram. I don’t let myself be shaken by my appearance or my defects, but sometimes I feel “excluded” because I’m not like the “amazing girl on social media.”

I feel out of place in relation to what is expected of teenage beauty. What advice would you give me to avoid feeling inferior to the “amazing girls on social media”?

Coping with Being Me

Dear Coping: Please know you are far from the only female who struggles with her self-image. The images and lives displayed on social media are oftentimes not reality. What you must remember is the importance of being YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF. Be neat, clean and wellgroome­d in your daily life. Be friendly to others. What are your talents, qualities and goals? Concentrat­e on developing them. If you do this, others will find you attractive, and it won’t require cosmetic surgery.

Dear Abby: A large neighborho­od group, social and friendly, has been invaded by someone with wandering hands. I was the recipient of three incidents. My husband saw it happen and was on it. He not only protected me, but made sure the offender knew we would not tolerate it. The result? We are now the outcasts of gatherings!

Everyone is trying to convince us to “make up” and accept the error of the “drunk.” We forgive, yet we have chosen not to be in that group.

Our neighbors keep saying we should “get over it” so we can rejoin them. As much as we initially enjoyed everyone’s company, it’s no longer the same.

Please advise.

At A Crossroads

in the South

Dear At A Crossroads: Tell your well-meaning (and forgiving) neighbors you know they mean well, but that when the person put his hands on you, you felt disrespect­ed and threatened. If you prefer not to be in that person’s company, that is your privilege. Be sure your neighbors know you would be open to socializin­g with them separately. Then direct your energy toward cultivatin­g a different group with whom you feel more comfortabl­e.

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