Stamford Advocate

Mom plants thick roots in son’s home

- Jeanne Phillips Write to Dear Abby at P.O. Box 96440, Los Angeles, CA 90069 or dearabby.com

Dear Abby: Ten years ago, my friend “Maureen” suffered a breakup that emotionall­y and financiall­y devastated her and moved in with her son and his young family. Since then, she has recovered in both areas.

Maureen inserts herself into every aspect of their lives — vacations, entertaini­ng, etc. When they go out to eat, she always joins them. Her daughter-in-law, “Eve,” has routinely given her hints that it’s time to move on. Maureen then goes to her son and tells him what Eve said, and it causes problems in their marriage.

Maureen is capable of living on her own, but she said she might get lonely and that’s why she won’t leave. The grandkids are pretty much grown now, and there’s no need for Maureen to stay. Her friends have been encouragin­g her to make a life of her own. Eve and her husband plan to move out of state in 10 years, and Maureen plans on moving with them. I think she is putting her son’s marriage at risk for her own selfish reason. What are your thoughts?

Bystander in Florida

Dear Bystander: My thoughts are that until Eve is angry enough to assert herself and tell her husband the current living conditions are intolerabl­e, nothing will change.

Dear Abby: I recently had to say goodbye to my precious dog, Wendy Darling. She was a sweet old girl with bad kidneys and severe joint pain. During the last few weeks of her life, she could barely eat, and not at all in the last days. I know in my head that ending her suffering was the right thing to do. I have supported friends and family who helped their pets this way.

It’s my heart that is having trouble. I keep thinking that I didn’t have the right to make that decision; that life is too precious to deliberate­ly steal even a single day. While her body was declining, her mind and spirit danced, and she looked at me with complete trust. I miss her so much and find myself crying throughout the day. Can you tell me how to reconcile my head and my heart? I have this huge weight on my chest and more than a little bit of guilt.

Missing Wendy in Oregon

Dear Missing Wendy: Talk with your veterinari­an about joining a grief support group. I am sure he or she will reassure you. Your loss is recent. That you are emotional is understand­able. Try to remember that tears are healing.

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