Woman starting to see man is all talk
Dear Abby: I am a 41-yearold divorced woman. My two grown children live with their dad. I have been in a relationship with “Sir Talks-a-Lot” for 16 months. I feel like I love him, but I’m having lots of doubts. When I don’t see him, it doesn’t bother me. If I made a pros-and-cons list, there would be more cons than pros.
And he talks nonstop — about anything and everything. If he’s not texting me, he’s calling me. We don’t go on real dates; all we do is hang out or go out to grab a bite. He contradicts himself often, and if we argue, he is always the victim. He talks a good game, but I feel like it’s all talk. I have gotten flowers once in 16 months, and no holiday or birthday gifts.
But his talk game is so good that I feel guilty for thinking about breaking things off. Is it me? Or am I just feeling suffocated? Please give me some advice.
Confused in the Witch City
Dear Confused: It’s not you, and stop feeling guilty. When someone’s actions don’t mirror what they say, it is a big red flag. It is important that you listen to your intuition, because it’s sending you an important message.
Dear Abby: There are several bad habits my husband has, but the one that frightens me the most involves our 2-year-old son. I’m afraid to leave them alone when we are out shopping.
I have walked up on them a few times and noticed my husband reading or looking at stuff with his back to the buggy while our son is in it. When I tell him it scares me, he says I’m overreacting. I’m worried someone will steal our son. He always says, “He’s within arm’s reach. No one is going to run away with him before I have the chance to stop them.”
Abby, this kind of crime has happened before. I have seen it in the news. My husband is no superhero.
Am I wrong to think he should keep the buggy in front of him at all times when our son is in it? He shouldn’t let our 2-year-old walk up the aisles unattended either. Or am I wrong?
Laura in Ohio
Dear Laura: You are not wrong to want to err on the side of safety. If it would put your mind at ease, your husband should accommodate your request. Toddlers should not wander unattended in the aisles either, not only because of the danger of kidnapping, but also the possibility of an accident.