Dad’s fiance ignores diet restriction

Dear Abby: My husband was instructed by his doctor to avoid dairy due to a chronic condition that negatively impacts his daily life. Around the same time, his father and his girlfriend began implementing the keto diet into their lifestyle. We are often invited to their home for game night. She takes pride in preparing a meal for everyone. We’ve been open about my husband’s dietary restrictions, but dairy remains a heavily used ingredient in these dishes, and it is often hidden or disguised.

She seems to think that because my husband isn’t “allergic” to dairy, it’s OK for him to consume it. However, because we’ve both changed our diets to exclude dairy, these visits often end in stomach pains and, for him, other discomforts that may last for days. We enjoy the game nights, but fear a more direct approach will hurt our newfound relationship. What would you suggest?

Restricted in Arizona

Dear Restricted: I suggest you be VERY direct (and descriptive) with your father-in-law and his soonto-be fiancee about the effect that dairy products have on your husband! And if your husband’s dietary restrictions can’t be accommodated, either eat beforehand or bring your own food to the gathering.

Dear Abby: I am 55 and have waited for the right man. I wish my values weren’t so strict, but I have met someone who seems to respect my desire to wait until marriage.

The problem is our relationship has many negatives. We live two hours apart. He loves to gamble.

Most of the time, I feel like I am in fourth place in his life behind his family, his friends and his gambling. I don’t feel he really wants to be with me. I sometimes wonder if it’s because of the sex thing. However, I don’t want a relationship based on sex. I want us to become one and I don’t see it happening.

I also don’t believe he can budget for anything more than his bills and gambling. Am I wanting too much? I’m afraid he is after is security, not a relationship.

Waiting for Mr. Right

Dear Waiting: I don’t think you want too much. What you are searching for is what most people want — a life partner who is considerate, loving and whose values are close to their own. If you really believe you are four notches down on his list of priorities, do not settle. End this “romance” now.