Bridesmaid takes heat from cousins

Dear Abby: My daughter “Melanie” is very close with a cousin she grew up with. This cousin is getting married in five months, and Melanie will be a bridesmaid. The shower date was announced. Then my son-in-law’s best friend from childhood announced his wedding date. The wedding is on the same date as my niece’s shower.

The events are about four hours apart, so it isn’t possible for Melanie to go to both. She told her cousin she was sorry but she felt she needed to attend the wedding with her husband, who is in his friend’s wedding party.

The bride’s sister is giving my daughter a hard time, saying she “can’t believe” Melanie

would miss the shower. Melanie is now afraid she’s jeopardizing her relationship with her cousins, as they have told her how upset they are. What would you do? Wedding Drama,

Drama, Drama

Dear W.D.D.D.: The pressure your daughter is receiving from her cousins is inappropriate. She isn’t obligated to attend any event she doesn’t wish to. She should choose a gift for her cousin, have it delivered and apologize ONCE for being unable to be there in person.

Dear Abby: Four months ago, I noticed a lady walking down the street. She was older, and I could tell by her posture she was struggling. I offered to drive her. It turned out she was walking from a bus stop to a transit bus to catch it for work. She works in a different county than she lives in, so the first bus doesn’t take her all the way.

Long story short, I have been driving this lady to work from the bus stop every morning, picking her up from work and taking her home. She lives about 10 miles from me. She has not once offered to pay for gas, which doesn’t bother me, but she has recently started asking me for money.

I have picked her up, and without any warning she says she needs to go to other places, too. I think I need to stop driving her, but I know I’ll feel guilty because she has no one to help her. How do I end this one-sided relationship?

Miffed in Michigan

Dear Miffed: Tell the woman you will no longer be driving her and be clear about the reasons. If you don’t, there is no end to what she will ask you for. Trust me, once you draw the line, this woman will manage just as she managed before.