Affair leaves woman full of regrets
Dear Abby: I’m a 38-yearold woman who used to be nice. Then I had a three-year affair. Knowing I’m one of America’s bigger fools — and for such a long time — is infuriating, but I finally saw the light. The only person I think is a bigger fool than me is his wife.
Some “highlights” of our romance: He gave me an STD during spring break, I found “Ally’s” phone number in his contact file, and I saw a blonde in a white convertible drop him off in front of his house at 9:15 in the morning, which, according to him, “never happened.” My eyes don’t lie.
After I was struck by a car in a crosswalk, he never once called me to see how I was.
Please warn your readers to stay away from affairs. They demean you, your mate will lose trust in you, and the person you’re having the affair with — can that person ever really be trusted? Won’t he cheat on you, too?
I used to be nice. I used to care and trust. No more! This man changed not only my entire life but also my family’s. Will I ever forgive MYSELF?
I have spent thousands of dollars for counseling. It’s a lot of money, but I am worth it.
Finally Saw the Light
Dear Finally: Love may be blind, but I’m pleased you finally saw the light.
Dear Abby: I was widowed 10 years ago after 34 years of marriage. My late husband’s sister, “Barbara,” who is also now a widow with no children or other family, considers me her sister and friend. Abby, I have NEVER felt close to her.
Barbara is a domineering, self-pitying hypochondriac with no friends left she hasn’t alienated. We live fairly near each other, and I have the feeling since the loss of her husband three years ago that she’s expecting me to be her companion and caregiver going into her elder years. I’d slit my wrists first! How can I gently remove myself from Barbara’s game plan?
Didn’t Sign Up for This
Dear Didn’t Sign Up: “Gently” remove yourself from Barbara’s game plan by being increasingly less available.
If she asks to get together, be busy. If she’s depressed, suggest grief counseling. If she suggests you help her going into her declining years, explain that won’t be possible because you plan to travel.
You do not have to be cruel or heavy-handed about standing up for yourself.
Just hang on to your sense of humor and keep your distance.