Man’s true colors shock his girlfriend
Dear Abby: I am a 58-yearold, never-married woman with a 22-year blue-collar career. I own a home and will retire with benefits many people dream of.
I’ve recently ended a relationship with a man I’ve known since childhood. I truly love him.
The problem is that he had been stealing from me. I confronted him several times, but finally had to involve the police.
My question is this: Is there more than one right person for everyone? How long will it take me to recover from a broken heart, if ever? How well do you really know anyone?
Disillusioned in Washington
Dear Disillusioned: There is no timetable for healing from a broken heart, but take it from me, it DOES happen. I firmly believe there is more than one “right person” for everyone. You do not truly love HIM. What you love is the fantasy that he’s the only right person for you.
We get to know the significant people in our lives by observing them over a long period of time and watching how they treat others.
Dear Abby: My wife and I married as teenagers 40 years ago. Our children are adults, and most people consider us a perfect couple. My wife has had several affairs over the years, some she has admitted to and others I have stumbled across. For the most part, they have been physical only, with no emotional attachment. Twenty years ago she had a passionate affair with a younger man. It ended when he broke it off to be with someone else.
A year ago, she found out he’s single again and invited him back into her life. Now, she’s openly seeing him. She’s telling me they are “just friends” and she “needs his company because only he understands her.” I believe if he had a better job and financial outlook, she would leave me in a minute.
I can’t stand the thought of losing the love of my life, but I also can’t keep living with her knowing I play second fiddle in her heart. She refuses counseling because she doesn’t see this as a problem. Should I give her more time (a year already) or file for divorce?
Confused in Illinois
Dear Confused: You have given your wife enough time to come to her senses. I do think there should be some counseling — for YOU. It will provide insight and emotional support as you contemplate divorce.