Man’s lack of punctuality angers wife

Dear Abby: Punctuality is important to me. My husband has many great qualities, but punctuality is not one of them. We have not been able to come to agreement on this. We are late to church almost every Sunday and to most parties and family events.

I think it’s rude to keep people waiting, and it gives me anxiety. I have tried taking separate cars but think, as a couple, we should arrive together.

It seems like when I try to urge him to hurry, he purposely slows down. It has reached the point where we are angry at each other by the time we finally arrive anywhere. Any advice?

Hare Married to Tortoise

Dear Hare: Yes. Take the separate cars. No one cares whether you arrive “together” or not, unless you are going to a dinner party. And if your husband will be late for that, assure your hosts that it isn’t necessary to wait for him to arrive. Until he suffers the consequences, his behavior will not change.

Dear Abby: My fiancee has been married twice and insists on maintaining contact with four prior sexual partners (other than husbands). Most of the contact is by Facebook, instant message and cellphone. But one former partner is a high school classmate she sees every year at class “get-togethers.”

I think what she’s doing is inappropriate. She insists they are just “friends” and I am being “untrusting.” What’s a guy to do?

Crowded in Florida

Dear Crowded: A “guy” either accepts what his fiancee is telling him — that these old flames are just friends now — or he terminates the engagement and starts searching for a woman he believes he CAN trust.

Dear Abby: My husband and I have been good friends with another couple for more than a decade. The wife has a degenerative illness and is now paralyzed and unable to feed herself. We would love to stay close with them while recognizing the problems they face in planning meetings. How can we tactfully stay in touch, and at the same time relieve some of the pressure on the husband?

Good Friend in Maryland

Dear Friend: It would be a kindness to call him and offer to be with his wife for a few hours so he can spend some time doing things for himself that he may have postponed. I can’t promise that he’ll take you up on it, but he may.