Friend’s pregnancy worries fiancee

Dear Abby: I got engaged five months ago, and my wedding date is seven months from now. My soon-to-be sister-in-law and bridesmaid has just announced she’s pregnant with her second child and due a week after our wedding.

I have conflicting emotions. While I’m happy for her family to grow, I can’t help but worry it will detract from my fiance and me. I’m not sure what to do. Do I keep her as a bridesmaid, one week away from delivery? Can I replace her so she won’t have to worry about the “what-ifs”? Her husband is a groomsman, so this decision will affect everyone.

Should I leave her in and chance it? I’m just so overwhelmed, and this is adding to the stress of planning my wedding. Please give me some advice.

Worried Bride-To-Be

Dear Worried: Talk to your about-to-be sister-inlaw. It would be difficult to impossible to fit a bridesmaid’s dress on someone whose girth is growing constantly.

Offer her the opportunity to fill another role during the ceremony — perform a reading, perhaps. Then be sure to have a backup for her.

Dear Abby:

I have four nieces with families who live near me. I see none of them on holidays. I am never invited to spend time with them. They have children who have children, and I understand that they would be involved with each other. We email and keep in contact on Facebook. They know my house is off-limits because my partner is a hoarder and there’s no room.

I hint to them in cards, “Hope to see you over the holidays” or, “Would love to see the greatgrandbabies.” (The oldest is 3 and I haven’t seen all four of them since they were born.) My partner is a transgender woman, but I am assured this doesn’t bother them.

I miss them and feel left out of the family even though we email. I am their deceased father’s only sibling left. Should I be more aggressive, or just stop trying?

Excluded in New York

Dear Excluded:

Could you visit with them in a public place? It’s worth asking. But if they don’t take you up on it, please, concentrate your efforts on those relatives who treat you with the warmth and caring you deserve.