Mother thinks teenager is miss­ing out on ex­pe­ri­ences

Star-Telegram - - This Week - JEANNE PHILLIPS Con­tact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby .com or P.O. Box 69440, Los An­ge­les, CA 90069.

Dear Abby: I am a 17-yearold girl who has been in a long-dis­tance re­la­tion­ship for two years. We’re still in high school and ac­tively in­volved in sports and ex­tracur­ric­u­lar ac­tiv­i­ties. Dur­ing the fall months I cheer, and in the win­ter months he plays bas­ket­ball. Our sched­ules only re­ally al­low for tex­ting and FaceTim­ing rather than go­ing out.

Although our time is spent com­mu­ni­cat­ing on the phone, I feel we have a strong con­nec­tion, and I am de­voted to him. How­ever, my mom is con­cerned “be­cause I’m not dat­ing and tak­ing ad­van­tage of op­por­tu­ni­ties that could come with dat­ing some­one closer.” She crit­i­cizes him non­stop and thinks he’s mak­ing ex­cuses and avoid­ing a com­mit­ment. She’d like to see me go­ing out and hav­ing fun with some­one like most girls my age do.

I don’t think he’s mak­ing ex­cuses, and I don’t feel as though I’m miss­ing out on any op­por­tu­ni­ties. This dis­agree­ment is caus­ing an is­sue be­tween my mom and me. I feel that he’s The One, but Mom is find­ing it chal­leng­ing to ac­cept this. I would love to hear your ad­vice. — Far, But Close, in Michi­gan

Dear F. But C.: You may feel that this young man is “The One,” but your mother has a point. Please lis­ten to her. Rather than sit home ev­ery night be­cause you are de­voted only to him, you should so­cial­ize and de­velop non­ro­man­tic re­la­tion­ships. It wouldn’t be be­tray­ing him. Most young peo­ple go out in groups, and that’s what you should be do­ing. This may be what your mother is try­ing to con­vey rather than say­ing he isn’t The One.

Also, you and this young man have years of ed­u­ca­tion to com­plete be­fore you’ll be in a po­si­tion to for­mal­ize your re­la­tion­ship. While you are do­ing that, both of you will meet new peo­ple and be of­fered op­por­tu­ni­ties that may broaden your hori­zons. Think about it.

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