Family still refuses to accept boyfriend

Dear Amy: I have been dating my boyfriend for about a year and a half. Things are going well, except for one major issue: my friends and family don’t take him seriously.

My friends act like he’s not “good enough” for me , and my family treats him like some high school fling (he and I are both 30). I’ve tried directly asking them to try building a better relationship, since this is someone I’m considering marrying, but they don’t bother.

If my friends or family were to bring serious concerns about my boyfriend to me, I would listen. They haven’t. Instead, they just treat my relationship like a joke.

I really want to find out what their objections are, or, better yet, to help them see how wonderful my boyfriend is.

Do you have suggestions for me? — Troubled

Dear Troubled: Some of the burden for proving how wonderful your boyfriend is should be borne by your boyfriend. Is he stepping up and engaging in these relationships?

You should examine your own relationship history to see if you have conditioned people close to you not to take you seriously. If you are a 30-year-old adult on the road to marriage, then you will have to stiffen your spine. Pay attention to specific feedback, but also insist on tolerance and respect toward your partner.

Dear Amy: You advised a woman not to tell her friend that the woman’s husband had visited a strip club! This wife deserves to know about his gross infidelities. I hope “Furious” will ignore your answer and tell the wife without delay. — Disappointed

Dear Disappointed: All of the information was second hand. I hope “Furious” stays out of it.