Frustrated husband finds other’s passion

Dear Amy: My wife and I have not had a physical relationship with one another in several years.

We still enjoy doing lots of things together but there is no sex, no physical displays, and not much emotional connection, either.

Dealing with that has been tough for me (we are in our early 60s).

I eventually made a longdistance connection with another man who was facing the same issues that I am facing. My friend is also married —to another man.

He and I have developed a close relationship that has become physical as well as emotional and spiritual.

We stay in touch via email, texting and phone. When we are together, it is NOT just the physical part of the relationship that we enjoy; it’s all the other things, too.

I’m in a real quandary. I have come to rely on this other person outside our marriage to meet some of my needs. And he feels the same way. —Feeling Lonely Dear Lonely: Answer this: If your wife approached you today and said her libido had awakened, would you want to be sexually intimate with her? That’s what I thought. Widely quoted research reports that 43 percent of women say they experience some form of sexual dysfunction. Ideally partners would face this challenge together.

There is no loneliness quite like the feeling of being alone in your own marriage. But you made your own choice to leave your marriage and seek passion elsewhere.

You have some tough decisions ahead. You cannot work on your marriage if you are intensely bonded to another person. You should see a counselor as you navigate this life-changing situation. Ultimately I hope you will choose to be honest with your wife so she can make an informed decision about her own future.