Guys who always look for balls are a lost cause
Losing golf balls is no fun, but neither is playing golf with someone who won’t stop looking for balls.
You know the type I’m talking about. You ask him how he played and he’ll say, “Great! I found five balls!”
I think some of these guys play golf only so they can look for lost balls. And I say “guys” because I have never met a ball-hawking female golfer. The women I’ve teed it up with care more about hitting good shots than finding other people’s bad ones.
South Florida is the best place in the country to look for golf balls because it has so many water hazards, which were created by digging up fill to build slopes and mounds for the golf courses and solid foundations for houses. That also makes it the worst place to be stuck in a foursome with guys who love to retrieve balls from lakes and ponds.
My sources tell me stories of grown men who hit their tee shots on holes with water, grab their ball retrievers and stroll along the banks of the hazard hoping to scoop up some balls.
Meanwhile, the other three players in the foursome have hit their approach shots and are waiting. If there’s water in front of the green, the scenario is repeated. Sometimes, the other players will have putted out before their fourth arrives at the green.
I’ve heard of guys who hit a shot into the water and won’t even play out the hole because they’ve got to find their ball, or at least retrieve several others.
The quality of the golf balls they find is seldom very good. Given the region’s water hazard abundance, most hackers play an old or scuffed ball, or even a range ball, on holes that require hitting over water.
I’ve been told that finding golf balls is fun and that it’s sort of like an Easter egg hunt for adults. I can understand and appreciate that, but when you knock it stiff and can’t stop yourself from grabbing your retriever instead of your putter, that’s a psychological disorder.
At the other extreme are golfers who never look for a ball that they can’t readily see. I played a few times with a fellow who got free golf balls from companies whose products he sold.
It was something to watch him slice three brand-new balls into a lateral water hazard before he left the tee box. Without bothering to look for any of them, even if there was a chance that they were at the edge of the hazard, he’d drop a ball and give it a whack. I can’t imagine the ecstasy of the ball hawks playing behind us when they fished out all those shiny Titleists.
The buddies I regularly play with seldom search for their mishit balls unless they’re pretty sure they can find them. Having worked as a caddie to help pay for college and located plenty of wayward shots for my players, I will take a quick look if my companions fade a shot into the trees or hook one that rolls into the water.
After all, a ball isn’t lost until you stop looking for it.
But the best days are when we’re all hitting it straight, and the only things we’re looking for are birdies and pars.
Allianz Pro-Am
Amateur golfers can win a free entry in the Allianz Championship Pro-Am by playing in the JM Lexus Drive Fore The Green Golf Series.
Golfers earn points playing in events at four private country clubs: Seagate July 11, Mizner Aug. 8, the Old Course at Broken Sound Sept. 12 and the Polo Club Oct. 17. The top four players get to play in the Pro-Am before the Champions Tour tournament, which is Feb. 5-7.
Entry fee is $75 per event. Call 561-241-4653 or visit allianzchampionship.com.