Boyfriend’s ‘comedy’ really kills respect

Dear Amy: I have been with my boyfriend for about eight years.

The other night we went out to dinner with my parents. One of their friends came over to the table to say hello. She is 80 years old.

My boyfriend asked her “if she still fools around.”

We were all so embarrassed.

He thinks it is funny. He often talks about our sex life in a social gathering, even though he can see this makes people very uncomfortable. I feel this is a private topic. How do I handle this if it happens again? — Not Amused

Dear Not: In addition to being rude, coarse and disrespectful, your boyfriend is also committing a crime against comedy.

But you are choosing to spend time with him. What’s up with that?

The next time he calls you out publicly by embarrassing you, you should tell him, “I’ve asked you many times not to do this,” and you should leave. Don’t demand apologies or explanations. Just keep your distance. If he is capable of change, this might inspire him to dig deep and redefine his humor.

Dear Amy: “Frustrated Working Wife” has a husband who is insisting that he will retire on his own timeline.

She resented still having to work while he was retired.

I appreciated your answer, especially when you said that if she is not yet of retirement age, then she should keep working.

When the balance in their household changes, I hope he will step up and take over some of the homemaking duties I assume she has been doing up to now. — Still Working

Dear Working: It’s a pretty thought, but unfortunately I think these two might have some problems that extend beyond their workdays.