Forcing parenthood not a wise decision

Dear Amy: I’ve been seeing this boy. We’ve hit it off very well, right from the beginning.

We have been dating for sixmonths, andI think I’m in love. I believe he is my soul mate, the guy I’ve beenwaiting formy whole life.

He doesn’twant kids right now, but I do. I’ve secretly stoppedtakingmy birth control pills. He said we might have kids one day, but I think I’m pregnant now. I think he worries about supporting me and our little olive, but I’m notworried.

I’m still in my teens, but he’s not. I’m sure he’llbeable to take good care of us. I think he won’t realize that he wants kids until he has one. I’m trying to find the rightway to tell him that I’m pregnant. Can you give me some advice?— M

Dear M: You have no right to deliberately and deceitfully turn another person into a parent who does not want to be a parent. This is very disrespectful, and I wonder why you don’t realize it. But I suspect it is because you are a teenager, and you think the way a teenager thinks — with a distorted view of your actions and their attached consequences. Questions for you to answer are: Do you have supportive parents? Are you working? How will you raise and support this child?

My advice is for you to carefully consider your actions, which have extremely wideranging consequences for you, for your parents, for your guy, for his parents and for any child you decide to bring into theworld.

You need to take a pregnancy test and at this point be very brave and honest with your boyfriend about your situation. If you have a supportive friend or family member, talk with this person and ask for help and support as you walk this path. See your doctor or visit plannedparenthood.org for low-cost testing, health screenings and counseling.

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