Examine your own feelings of betrayal

Dear Amy: My younger sister and I are young adults. We are extremely close, and have many mutual friends. She is educated, attractive, successful, single and often regarded as the type to take no nonsense from guys. I am regardedas theslightlyoverprotective older brother.

This past weekend we took a trip together, went out to bars and split a hotel room. I allowed a mutual friend to stay with us, because he had been drinking. This friend is known for his exploits with women. I fell asleep rather quickly, but awoke after a fewminutes to them engaging in extremely animated intercourse.

I was paralyzed, but left the roomas soon as I could.

I feel betrayed and utterly disrespected by both of them. I’ve had words with my sister and she has apologized, but I feel like I don’t even know who she is anymore.

I’ve not yet tomy friend.

I know alcohol played a part, but I was with them all evening and knowtheywere both in control of their faculties, so I don’t accept that as anexcuse. AmIoverreacting? What can I do to get past this?— Traumatized

Dear Traumatized: You have every right to feel disrespected, and you were — extremely. Among other indignities, you were basically forced to spend much of the night on the street.

These two are consenting adults. They should have the right to engage sexually with one another without you feeling involved— or betrayed.

Their choice to have sex in front of you? I agree that this is extreme, traumatic and very disrespectful. Your sister has apologized. Now you must confront your friend.

You will also have to rewire your ideals concerning your sister. This could ultimately be liberating for both of you. said anything