Mental illness affects spouses too

Dear Amy: Countless among us live in secrecy of revealing their mental illness. Spouses of people with mental illness must maintain this secrecy, for fear of repercussions.

Even with medication, proper diet, exercise, etc., people with mental illness can relapse. During relapses, spouses are lied to, ignored, isolated, yelled at and blamed for things they didn’t do. Countless marriages do not survive. Not much is written about the spouses who do hang in there in sickness and in health.

I know many, many spouses will see themselves in this letter; please give us some words of encouragement. — Lonely and Alone

Dear Alone: I find your letter heartbreaking, and I want you to know that I (and many others) who have mental illness in our families identify with your challenges.

Increasingly, people who have mental illness are bravely coming forward to help lift the veil of shame and taboo surrounding brain disorders. And now you are bravely helping to destroy the stigma and silence surrounding the burden on spouses and family members. Thank you.

Here are your words of encouragement. Tape this to your bathroom mirror, and don’t ever forget it:

You are not alone.

The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI.org) now has a program designed specifically to focus on you.

This is from the NAMI website: “NAMI Family-to-Family is a free, 12-session educational program for family, significant others and friends of people living with mental illness.”

Until this course is offered online and available to all, you will have to find your local NAMI affiliate. Using their searchable database, I saw many “friends and family” support groups in my local area. I know that you could benefit from a support group.