Voyeur addiction leads to a split

Dear Amy: My husband of 25 years has an obsession with voyeur pornography.

He is addicted to websites that feature women filmed without their consent or knowledge; filmed with hidden cameras, etc.

My husband has shown me pictures of wives and girlfriends who have been filmed without their consent.

I think this type of pornography is wrong on so many levels, and wonder how it can even be legal!

I am deeply hurt and am considering divorce. My husband keeps telling me he will stop, but he always goes back to the porn.

Some alcoholics can stop drinking with success. Can porn addicts ever stop watching porn? Any advice is appreciated. — Wife Needing Advice

Dear Needing: Is your husband an addict? Or is he just a garden-variety scumbag who likes watching a particularly vile form of pornography?

I’m voting for what’s behind Door Number Two. Filming and distributing this sort of material is likely illegal (states are in the process of enacting a variety of laws about this sort of voyeuristic filming and distribution).

This sort of cybercrime is labeled “revenge porn” in many states, for lack of a different way to categorize it.

Watching it is terrible. Enjoying it is disgusting. Asking you to watch it is abusive. Justifying it is delusional.

If your husband was an addict and wanted to recover from his addiction, he would seek professional help and work toward recovery. He’s not doing this.

I think you should stop “considering divorce” and go ahead and do it.

Furthermore, if I were you, I would try to discover the source of these videos and make every effort to see these perpetrators punished to the fullest extent of the law.