Alcohol-fueled abuse leaves mark

Dear Amy: I have been married for over 20 years. My wife and I have had our share of issues. Over the past 18 months we have been going to marriage counseling and have worked to address some of those issues.

Over the last 12 months, she has started getting verbally abusive when she has had too much to drink. At these times, she says things that are filled with pure rage and have a stinging effect for a long period of time.

When I approach her about it, she remembers none of it and I am forced to relive all of it.

I have made it very clear that I think she has an alcohol abuse problem, and her response is to say that she is sorry, and she will watch her quantity of drinking to make sure it does not happen again. Yet, it ha.

I suffer from low self-esteem as it is. I have told her numerous times that if she keeps it up, she is going to lose me.

How do I find the courage to finally stand up for myself? — Verbally Battered and Bruised

Dear Battered: You and your wife are currently seeing a marriage counselor. Even though it is very painful for you to do so, it is vital that you bring up this alcohol-fueled abuse with the counselor. Your wife’s drinking and abusive behavior is a major factor in the viability of your marriage. She will want to diminish it, but you have the right and responsibility to present your own truth.

You might want to create an audio (or video) recording of one of your wife’s tirades. She might be inspired to confront her drinking if she is also confronted with the reality of her behavior.

You need yourself.

Attending Al-anon meetings could help you to confront and cope with your own vulnerabilities, and receive support and understanding. to take care of