Showers become ‘save me’ memes

Dear Amy: I’ve attended several wedding showers recently where the groom stands around looking bored, posts to social media things like, “Save me,” and the attendees offer “condolences” that he has to spend his day with only women.

I realize these things are meant in jest, but after witnessing this over and over again, it gets irritating.

We women are an important part of the bride and groom’s life and have taken a day out of our busy lives to celebrate them and shower them with gifts.

Am I being too

— Save Me

Dear Save Me: Back in the day, “wedding showers” were called “bridal showers,” and were attended only by women. The prospective groom would sometimes duck in near the end of the event as a “surprise,” and basically do his rooster dance in the henhouse. The whole thing was a reenactment of traditional gender roles and people mainly played their part.

If you are attending “wedding” (not “bridal”) showers, then shouldn’t other male friends also be included? Aren’t men an important part of weddings?

Sadly, the answer is “not really,” because while we are currently in a transition phase of finding new ways to form families and to celebrate them, we are still clinging to antiquated rituals.

The answer to your direct question is: Yes, the bored grooms at these showers are being rude. The attendees commiserating with them are diminishing their own value as guests.

But sometimes “save me” really IS funny. It is always meant to draw faux sympathy to the person posting it.

Maybe the next time you witness this, you could post a picture of the “save me” guy with the caption: “Someone please save ME from the ‘save me’ guy.” sensitive?