Couple has a taste for wedding cake

Dear Amy: My husband and I recently eloped to avoid all of the wedding drama, stress, expense and hubbub.

We are in our 30s, and we are the last of our friends to get married.

We did not share our engagement on social media and instead told people if we ran into them in person. This, however, led to some people finding out months later, and then maybe feeling hurt or less important.

We chose to elope five months after getting engaged and did not tell many friends. We did not even tell our parents.

Since getting married, however, we have not received many congratulations.

Am I being unreasonable? Do I want to have my cake and eat it, too?

I am usually the friend who throws parties, and now I am feeling a little hurt that not one friend felt the need to celebrate us. A few people keep suggesting that we should throw our own party.

Did we miss out? — Married in Kansas City

Dear Married: What you are experiencing here is the birth of your adulthood. You absolutely cannot have your (no) wedding cake and eat it too. You have no cake to share, no ceremony to share, no communal celebration to share and only the leaked news of your elopement to share.

You have every right to get married any way you want to.

But when you refuse to be open about plans you create a barrier around your world.

Your friends and family most likely assume that you two are intensely private people and that you don’t want your relationship to be noticed.

If you want to be congratulated, then announce your marriage. Include a photo of the two of you on your wedding day. Because you two seem to want to celebrate, you should host a night-out.