Mom’s picky eating is embarrassing

Dear Amy: I married into a Korean family. (I’m not Korean.)

My mother lives nearby. She is very closed-minded about food. She won’t try new things, and rarely goes to restaurants

My in-laws threw a big party at their house, to celebrate my mother-in-law’s 70th birthday. The party was catered, featuring mostly Korean food.

They invited my mother. Knowing that she was likely going to have issues with the food, I gave her a heads-up. She said, “Don’t worry about me.”

At the party, she immediately stated that she “couldn’t eat a thing.”

My very sweet father-inlaw paid special attention to her.

I looked out and saw my mother-in-law firing up the grill in order to cook a single hamburger for my mom.

While everyone was polite, I was embarrassed.

I want her to try new things, and to get out of her comfort zone. — Perturbed by Pickiness

Dear Perturbed: Your desire for your mother to leave her comfort zone is natural and understandable, but her extremely picky eating does not excuse her rudeness.

Your mother might have ARFID (Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder), an eating disorder characterized by an extreme aversion to lots of different foods. You could suggest that she research this possibility.

However, having dietary limitations, restrictions, phobias or preferences does not give a person license to announce it at a party.

Furthermore, the idea that your mother let your motherin-law cook a special dish for her is quite beyond the plate.

In the future, you should encourage her to bring her own food in a container.

You (and she) should gratitude to your in-laws. offer