Friendship could be smoothed out

Dear Amy: I am a single male in my early 30s. After law school, I met “Judith,” andwe became best friends.

Thefriendshipwasalways strictly platonic. Honestly, I considered her my best friend.

We had a falling-out over something quite petty, on its face: After a fun partyweekend in the mountains, I felt compelled to ask her (and her boyfriend) to pay for part of the lodging expenses. It reallywasn’t about the actual money, but I couldn’t help but to feel used.

Anyway, the resulting (text) conversation we had was insulting. She brought up topics from the past that were completely unrelated andout of line. I felt hurtand betrayed.

This happened over a year ago. She has reached out multiple times to apologize and try to mend fences. For the most part I do not respond.

Most recently, she reached out to ask if I considered the friendship permanently over. She wanted to invite me to her engagement party.

The thing is, I don’t want to be friends with her.

I can forgive her for the petty argument, but I will never forget howit mademe feel.

Do I need to rethink my approach regarding friendship? Am I wrong to think it’s fine to move on from friendships when they prove to be broken beyond repair? — Disoriented in Denver

Dear Disoriented: In a perfect world, we wouldn’t need to accept an apology; wewould never face the necessity of forgiving someone. Theworld is not perfect. I think it’s possible that “Judith” has changed. She is being honest, contrite, and apologetic. She is extending a hand.

In short, yes, I do think you need to rethink your approach.

Judith may have grown. Have you?