Friendship fail leads to wedding worry

DearAmy: In January, my best friend of 30 years and I had a falling out, thiswas not the first one we’ve had over the years.

I sent texts, checking on her health, withnoresponse. Finally, two weeks ago, she contacted me.

She’s getting married and she said she couldn’t decide whether to invite me.

I told her that eitherway I would understand;.

She messaged me tonight, asking if I’d like to attend, but notmy fiance ormy children.

I’ve never felt comfortable around her other friends, as she behaves very differently around them.

Onthe one hand, I’d like to be there, because we’ve known each other since the first grade. I love her family, but I’m worried I’ll receive thesametreatmentfromher and her friends that I have experienced before.

NOT going might be better than going.

However, I appreciate that she got over her pride and invited me.

What do I do? What should I say?

I don’t want to hurt her, but I also feel like after the last falling-out, we’ll never be close again. — AB in Illinois

Dear AB: Your friend has been open about her reluctance to have you attend her wedding. Her reluctance has been underscored by the ungracious way she extended the invitation, and the parameters she has imposed.

Additionally, youdon’t really want to go.

I’d call that amutual parting of theways.

You do not need to bring the hammer down on this friendship, because it is quite obviously waning. You could respond, “I’m so happy for you; I know this will be a wonderful celebration. I appreciate the invitation, but unfortunately, I won’t be able to make it. I’ll be thinking of you on the big day.”