Sports parents can’t take time to celebrate

Dear Amy: I am 46 years old and married.

My wife and I have two daughters, ages 8 and 10.

We have full-time careers and sports with our kids every Friday and Saturday, as well as practice weekly.

My mother has voiced her disapproval whenever we can’t attend a family function.

Most recently was my cousin’s son’s graduation party.

She told me she is very hurt that I did not attend the funerals of two people on my aunt’s side that I am not related to at all and did not know well.

We have a good relationship, but it feels strained at times due to her not communicating with us and acting hurt when we don’t attend functions.

Point me in the right direction as to how we should deal with this going forward. — J

Dear J: You and your family are immersed in the busiest years of parenthood when you basically live in the car, scooting between school events, practices, and games.

Don’t blame your mother for not communicating when she is actually communicating, quite clearly but you just don’t like what she is saying.

I wish youth sports’ leagues took holidays and family commitments more into consideration, as they so often strain families who miss holidays because they are traveling to games and tournaments.

In my opinion, you would be demonstrating important values to your children if you occasionally missed their practices or games to attend funerals and other family-oriented events that are important to others, but if you can’t (or don’t want to), you should be kindly patient toward your mother when she expresses her own disappointment in your choices.