Avoiding family trips is easier than taking them

Dear Amy: My mother and my brother keep bringing up trips they want to take with us.

I’ve been on trips with them before, and never going again.

Both of them are prone to explosive meltdowns.

I can handle them for a short evening, but that’s it.

I also don’t want my 11-yearold daughter to have the stress of traveling with them.

I keep dodging requests. They are not taking the hint. I see them about twice a month, and the pressure turns any visit with them into a nerve-wracking time for me.

I’m at the point of wanting to avoid them completely.

Telling them straight up that we’re not going to go a tripwill cause am emotional episode. Advice? — Passport Denied Dear Denied: The way you are behaving (so far) is to avoid stating your own preferences, while you become increasingly annoyed.

Now you are at the point where you are on the verge of avoiding the people raising the topic. That solves nothing.

These relatives might need you as a buffer of sorts because they’re so volatile, and that’s why they are pressuring you.

It’s possible that if you provide an answer, they will stop bothering you about it.

You can state your case without blaming these family members, thereby hoping to avoid a meltdown. You just say, “I don’t want to go. I haven’t had a good time in the past. But you two should go ahead.” Repeat as often as necessary.

Consider the fact that by staying home, you might be preserving the shreds of your relationship with these family members. If your declaration causes a meltdown, then take refuge in the fact that the meltdown isn’t happening in a far-away destination.