Walking leads to relationship workout

Dear Amy: My husband began walking for exercise with a female friend.

I noticed he was constantly checking his phone or texting her throughout the day.

His mood would be very different if she couldn’t walk that day.

I know that he asked her over to our house, telling her that I would be out of town.

He would also make plans to call her during his walks when he and I were away.

I had a talk, explaining how this made me feel.

He assured me that his contact with her was all completely innocent.

He would not acknowledge asking her to come to our house when I was gone.

I asked to see their exchange of texts, and he refused.

I talked to the friend and told her what my husband and I had discussed. She ended their walking routine. My husband is very angry. Was I wrong? Shouldn’t husbands and wives be open about sharing texts? — Upset

Dear Upset: Over the course of most marriages, partners don’t reflexively share all of their outside communications with one another, but you and your husband are at an inflection point, and a marriage counselor might suggest that your husband share his texts with you as a way to establish trust. Oftentimes, this sort of transparency is an important step in moving forward.

You went above and beyond to interrupt the relationship that you believe was threatening your marriage, and while your husband is angry and defensive now, if you two are able to repair your relationship, he might come to grudgingly admire your fierce defense of your union.