Parental termination is legal end to mothering

Dear Amy: I am in the process of voluntarily terminating the parental rights to my child. It’s not that I’m an inadequate mother.

I remarried when my son was 5 years old, and my husband obtained a job out of state. The child did not want to move, so I allowed him to live full time with my ex.

For the last five years, he has voiced his dislike of me and my husband, and says he does not want to see me at all.

He always acted out at home and at school.

Since living with my ex, his behavior has improved, and is doing great in school.

Because I moved, my ex’s lawyer claimed abandonment. I agreed to terminating. I have accepted it.

The problem I’m having, is how to continue on with life.

My husband and I have two children together, so would it be rude or wrong to talk and act as if I only have the two? — Blank Slate Mom

Dear Mom: I appreciate your candor that your son is much better off living full time with his father, but although you claim that you were not an “inadequate” mother to this child, you obviously were.

When you legally terminate your parental rights, you and your child are considered to be strangers.

You sever your relationship with the child opening up the possibility that he might be legally adopted by your ex’s partner (if he has one).

Legally, you now have two children instead of three.

I hope you won’t maintain this as a deep and dark secret. You should be open with your two children.

They don’t have any legal rights to have any contact with this brother, but when they are all adults, they may choose to.