Daughter’s online videos compromise future

Dear Amy: My husband and I have made sacrifices to be able to send our kids to college with no debt.

One child, “Paula,” just finished her freshman year with good grades.

I discovered that Paula has publicly posted offensive videos, under her actual name, joking about serious issues like gender, race and disability.

I am horrified. This was not how she was raised. She said these are jokes. She believes that we are overreacting.

Paula acknowledged others may judge her character, which could result in being blacklisted from opportunities.

Amy, the videos are still up! Paula believes the risk is minimal and has refused to take them down.

My husband and I disagree on how to handle this.

I feel if she wants to make the decision to keep these videos up and risk her future, then she can likewise take the adult responsibility of paying for half of her tuition. He doesn’t want to “punish” her. What do you think? — Offended

Dear Offended: I think your daughter could have a tough time entering the job market.

However, forcing her to go into debt because of her online behavior might not be a good investment in the longer term.

She would have a lot of trouble retiring that debt if no one will hire her after college — and so it might be “cheaper” for you to pay for her schooling now, versus possibly being on the hook for her debt later.

If she has posted in a public forum, then you have the right to let her know what you think

One consequence might be for you to let her know now that you will not financially support her, post-college.