Avoid resentment if one spouse retires

Dear Amy: My husband and I have been together for 25 years.

He has decided that he will retire in three years. He is in a union and has a good retirement plan through his company.

I have been working the entire time of our marriage, but my company does not have a retirement plan. So I will have to continue to work while he is retired to keep up with the bills.

My husband also carries our health insurance through his work, so now that will be an added expense for us.

I am feeling quite angry over his decision to retire, leaving me to work.

I have tried to discuss this, but he states it is not up for discussion. He says he’s done with working, period.

I just can’t seem to cope with my anger, and the feeling that I will spend the rest of my life getting up every morning and going to work while he leads the easy life.

What can I do to get him to see things from my point of view? — Frustrated Working Wife

Dear Frustrated:

You don’t provide details, but yes, this seems at its core a relationship issue. It is hard to imagine a secure and healthy marriage where one partner refuses to share his earned resources toward supporting the household. But you seem to want him to continue working past his retirement window — and if so, why?

Each of you should maximize your earning years.

You should see a financial planner to take a look at your own income, expenses, debt and retirement income from Social Security and (possibly) savings.

A marriage counselor could help you two learn to negotiate. If he refuses to discuss this or strategize with you, you might find going to work preferable to spending leisure time with him.