Friendship falters over liaisons

Dear Amy: I recently ended a treasured friendship that I believed would last a lifetime.

We’re both 40 years old. While I got married and had a baby, she got divorced and bought her first place alone. The first thing she did was begin inviting people she’d met over the internet into her home, dating married men and seeming to lose all moral boundaries.

At first, I just decided not to bring my daughter to her house. Then she continued to invite strangers to her home. Some of them are admittedly still married, others just admitting to still sleeping with their “separated” wives and some have asked her to be STD tested. She discussed everything in front of my toddler.

I decided that this is not the kind of person that I want to continue a relationship with. I’m raising a child who will look at my friendships for guidance and clues on healthy behavior.

I’ve highlighted her dangerous behavior and she does not see how this behavior could affect my family. I cannot continue to give my worries to someone who does not care for herself.

Still, I miss our previous friendship. — Former Friend

Dear Former Friend: You’ve laid down non-negotiables and now you are experiencing the consequences of your choice. So is she.

It is natural to miss any relationship that ends. If you had continued to tolerate behavior you consider intolerable and ended the friendship later, you might miss this person a little less.

Some people go a little crazy when they find themselves living independently. They do dumb and sometimes imprudent or dangerous things.

If you had merely distanced yourself, rather than severing the relationship altogether, you might have had a slender relationship to return to.