Wife gives husband writer’s block

Dear Amy: For almost 30 years, I’ve been married to an eloquent, thoughtful writer whose every written word is carefully chosen. He turns mundane subjects into interesting reads.

He’s smart and funny; he’s a great person, husband, and father.

Before Christmas, he asked what I wanted. I said that more than anything, I wanted him to write down his feelings for me.

Oddly, he pushed back. I backed off. For Christmas he gave me a card with the website address written on it for planning a vacation.

Amy, I’m hurt.

I’ve come across mininovels that he wrote back in the day about ex-loves; or lovely things he’s written to extended family members.

Recently I asked him to take out the word “love” and tell me how he feels about me. He went on about what a fun evening we’d had together.

I’m glad he had a great evening, but he could have just as easily said this about walking the dog or going out with his friends.

I cannot understand. I know that he loves me, but this makes me feel like I’m not the love of his life. I would like an explanation.

How should I deal with this? — Seriously Hurting

Dear Hurting: Even reading your request for your husband to creatively express his love for you gives me writerhives.

I suspect that he has creative paralysis brought on by perfectionism. He is not going to give you the thing you expressly ask for, as long as you ask for it in such a specific way.

When he did try to complete an assignment for you, you didn’t like it enough.

If you let up on your “asks” he might be inspired to surprise you. He might not. Either way, you get to be with a good man, husband, and father who is also a gifted writer.