Amy Dickinson Family stress and fighting upsets teen

Dear Amy: My parents have been fighting a lot. It scares me because I love them so much.

I have tried to talk to both of them privately, but they act like everything is fine. I know that times are tough for all of us and maybe we could all just use some time by ourselves. Should I also act like everything is all right, or should I try to talk to them about it again? — Scared Teen

Dear Scared: First this: Your folks have done a great job, raising a sensitive, concerned and empathetic child.

Your folks are feeling the stress — and so are you. You may be noticing a dynamic between them that has actually been going on for a while, or they are feeling financial, workplace or family worries that you aren’t aware of.

Bickering happens. Arguing happens. And this affects you, but your folks are right — it likely doesn’t have much, if anything, to do with you. It does concern you, however. You need to feel safe.

You have already spoken to each of your parents, but you deserve more reassurance, and so you should try to speak with both of them, together.

You cannot solve their problems for them, but you have the right to speak your own truth, and so you should try to tell them how their actions affect you.

It might help for you to write down your thoughts in advance, and if you don’t believe you can have this conversation with both of them together, you can give them both a copy of your written thoughts. I hope your concern inspires them to behave differently.

If you find yourself overwhelmed by this or other stresses in your life, please reach out for help. Crisis Text Line has a round-the-clock staff of empathetic and helpful counselors, all available via text. Store this number in your phone: 741-741, and text if you need to talk.